It is possible to increase our understanding of what it takes to listen well, share and receive information, and form more robust emotional bonds (Abrahams & Groysberg, 2021 Westland, 2015). While good listening is crucial in communication, impacting almost all areas of our lives, it is rarely taught.
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How to Use Active Listening in Communication Perhaps unsurprisingly, active listening is recognized as the central skill in forming and maintaining relationships within therapy and counseling. On the other hand, listening well, actively, to the other person can equally enhance their inner listening (Nelson-Jones, 2014). If someone is listening poorly or focusing too much on themself, they will miss out on much of what is being communicated. Listening occurs in four different contexts within counseling sessions (Nelson-Jones, 2014): Ultimately, it keeps people going, motivating them to enter uncomfortable areas of conversation and work through difficult material. “Behind the discipline of good listening is a trust that it is useful for clients to explore their own experience and perceptions” (Miller & Rollnick, 2013, p. Why Is Active Listening as a Skill Important?
It is not all one sided the listener may also feel some of their hurt and pain. Honest, open communication means the speaker leaves themself open to challenge or ridicule. For someone telling important truths about how they feel or sharing the experiences they are going through, nothing hurts more than not being heard.Ĭommunicating empathically requires vulnerability for both the speaker and listener. Ultimately, it requires us to suspend our biases and ego, showing that we are listening to understand rather than reply (Engel, 2018). Simply put, empathic listening involves reflecting back the emotions we hear for example, “You sound angry and upset.” It shows understanding, encouraging the speaker to share more by validating them without judgment.
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While both active and empathetic listening involve giving our full attention, the latter places particular attention on understanding the other person’s emotional experience.Īccurate empathy is a helpful tool for facilitating self-exploration and, when used for communication within therapy or the workplace, can be game changing (Miller & Rollnick, 2013 Engel, 2018). Ultimately, the collaborative alliance must be fostered and maintained to allow goals, aspirations, fears, and plans to be worked through together. The relationship with the client should take place within an egalitarian, nonhierarchical relationship, “with neither party occupying a ‘one-up’ or ‘one-down’ position in terms of status or authority” (Adams, 2016, p.
The counselor, therapist, colleague, friend, and even loved one is saying, “Hold up, listen to me. Rather than examples of listening, each is a roadblock that gets in the way of the client’s self-exploration.
It can also be helpful to consider what active listening isn’t (Miller & Rollnick, 2013): Listening goes beyond hearing and committing words to memory by becoming aware and sensitive to nonverbal communication, such as the speaker’s tone of voice, timing, speed of talking, body language, and context.Īctive listening can be summed up as entailing “not only accurately understanding speaker’s communication but also showing that understanding” and therefore embodies the skills of both the sender and the receiver (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. While hearing involves receiving sounds and interpreting their meaning, listening involves accurately understanding their meaning. Richard Nelson-Jones (2014) says we should recognize the difference between hearing and listening.
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